Book Review: Tough Sh!t by Kevin Smith

( #kevinsmith, #toughsh*t )

After reading several fictional books in a row, I needed a break from fantasy. Naturally, I picked up “Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good” by Kevin Smith. For those people who are unfamiliar with Mr. Smith’s work, he is the writer and director of several beloved/hated movies about the slacker generation. Most recently, Smith has been leveraging social media to build his audience and brand after retiring from directing.

I don’t want to get into a debate on Kevin Smith’s abilities as a director or writer, you either like him or you don’t. I am not a total fan-boy for the guy’s work, but I like what he does more times than I don’t. Smith starts the book with childhood stories about his dad and their mutual love for George Carlin. Smith uses Carlin as a touchpoint in the book several times: first as a fan, then getting to know him as a director and a person – it reminds the readers that Smith is still a person and not a “celebrity”.

Kevin progresses quickly through the “Clerks” subject because if you know Kevin Smith, you probably know the story about that movie already. He uses Clerks to launch into the “failure of Mallrats”. “Mallrats” was Smith’s second movie, it was a big budget (for him) film that did not do well. Mallrats opens the book up to the most interesting subject he covers – the cost of movies.

Smith does simple breakdowns of how getting a movie made for “x” dollars is just the start of the debt once you get into post-production and marketing fees. A movie that costs $4 million to make, will end up costing $20 million by the time the audience gets to see it. This is pretty much the major subject of “Tough Sh!t”.

Smith does not want to navigate the politics of making $20 Million movies. Since that is the cost of getting a modest movie out to the audience, he stopped making movies. The issues and examples that he brings up are excellent, but I do have an issue with his logic…

The last couple chapters covers his recent podcasting and public speaking endeavors. From the information that Smith is presenting, he is doing well for himself performing live podcasts at college campuses and his own theater in California. Smith’s crew of misfits also produce and contribute content to their “Smodcasts”, so it definitely does not come across as a half-assed operation.

Since these guys have such a DIY attitude, I can’t understand why Smith would not attempt to make more films and distribute via his website similar to what Joss Whedon did with “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog”. Just as podcasting and internet are disrupting the music and radio companies, guys like Smith should be at the ground floor of the internet video revolution. I would like to see what the guy does with a direct video distribution channel.

Kevin Smith’s “Tough Sh!t” is an interesting book about how movies were made and foreshadows what avenues creative-types will have as outlets for their work. Smith’s trademark potty humor is omnipresent in the book (there are several graphic references about his wife and their sex life). I have to be honest, even though you KNOW it is going to be in the book, I just felt like it was tossed in because that is what the audience expects (meh – no harm, no foul). Overall, if you like Kevin Smith or are interested in the slow death of character-driven movies, read this book. If you are a fan of Bruce Willis, you might want to avoid it.

Recipe: Beef Jerky

(#beef, #beefjerky )

A few weeks ago I was in the office and needed a little break, so me and a co-worker went across the street to the drug store. He was working out later and wanted something high protein and didn’t like the selection of powders. I just said “try some beef jerky.”

He looked at me funny and asked “isn’t that bad for you?”

I laughed and said “slim jims are bad, really greasy and high in fat, but normal beef jerky is low calorie, high protein, and low fat. But the drawback is that it is high in sodium”.

Long story short, he looked at a packet and confirmed the information I gave him and we got some to take back to the office. When I got home that night, I looked for dehydrators on Amazon. I decided to make my own damn jerky with less salt. I ended up buying the Nesco FD-75PR 700-Watt Food Dehydrator.

I called up Mean Joe and he got me some extremely lean organic grass fed beef:

I marinated the meat for 12 hours with a simple recipe:

Marinade:

2 lbs of extremely lean beef cut into 3/4 inch long strips
6 crushed bulbs of garlic
3/4 cup of teriyaki sauce
1 tablespoon of McCormick Montreal Steak Seasoning 29 oz

Jerky Directions:
1. Allow the meat to marinate for 12 hours in the refrigerator. Place the meat on paper towels before you start to dehydrate to get off any excess liquids.
2. Follow the directions of your dehydrator – but mine is a round multi-leveled system. I placed the meat in the trays and re-stacked them once they were full…

3. Based on volume, allow the device to dehydrate the meat for 7-14 hours. I took mine out at 7 hours because the meat was starting to look crispy.
4. Place the completed jerky on paper towels again to soak off any grease.
5. Place in mason jars or plastic bags and refrigerate for maximum freshness.

Fatherhood: Month One

( #fatherhood #babylombardi )


Note: NSFW! This video has very harsh language, so don’t blast it in the office.

My wife and I had a baby last month. This is our first. I set up a little blog for friends and family so I can flood their twitter and facebook feeds with pictures and videos, but I haven’t really written about it. So here are my observations on fatherhood for the first 30 days.

Before we get to the baby, let me talk about the birth. Gentlemen, make sure you bring entertainment for you and your lady. You will be sitting in a room for several hours (a dozen for me) with nothing going on. When the pushing starts things certainly do get interesting, but until then, you just sit around not doing a damn thing to help (nobody tells you that). As a point of contrast, my father disappeared for the entire birth process for me and my sister, returning with a bag of sandwiches… for the doctor. I have to admit there was a certain genius in this move having been through the experience myself.

Once the baby is born, from their perspective, dear-old-dad is still useless. My wife is breast-feeding, so when my son looks at me with this “where the hell is my lunch” look, I just have to pass him back to his mother. Yes I change diapers and hold him as much as possible, but he likes to be close to his food source (and I don’t blame him). So what is my advice to other fathers for a harmonious house? Step up on cleaning and cooking. If you can’t cook, here are some easy recipes. If you can’t clean…yes you can. Buy a damn mop and get to work clown.

All things considered, my wife and I are very lucky. Our son sleeps well. Before he was born, I had several dudes gleefully telling me to get used to being tired. While I expect a full scale disaster once he starts teething, right now he only gets up once during the night because my wife figured out a feeding schedule that knocks him out food coma style. So far, being on pager was WAY worse than having a newborn.

When he is awake and not irate about a soiled diaper, I play music for him. He likes it. If he is in a mood, he usually snaps right out of it to listen. I try to play as much variety as possible (stuff that I don’t even like). Anything that sounds complicated. He hates being in a swing, but likes to be held up over my head. He also hates being naked… go figure.

A few months ago, one of my best friends asked “you aren’t going to be one of those people who post pictures all day on facebook are you?” I responded with a strong “hell no”. I have not kept that promise on my personal accounts, but I don’t plan on making my kid the subject to daily blogging on this site. While he won’t be a daily fixture, I will discuss fatherhood, the changes in my life, and the things I have learned because that is why I have this blog in the first place.

In conclusion… Fatherhood: So far, so good.

April Fools Day

( @drinkingmadeeasy, #aprilfools )

Yesterday my editor at Drinking Made Easy asked me to publish a fake news report about Drinking Made Easy co-host Steve McKenna. The joke was he quit the show and also drinking. I loved the whole idea (I am a big fan of Google’s AFD jokes) and jumped at a chance to lend credibility to the joke.

Then a funny thing happened… DME Host Zane Lamprey re-tweeted my post and the link blew up. This site got 12,000+ hits in less than 6 hours.

So this is probably going to be the most popular post on this blog…ever… and I didn’t even write it. I am totally not bitter about this fact, because there was a massive amount of run-off traffic to my other posts that I am really grateful for.

So what is the point of this post? If you found my blog yesterday, sorry for tricking you, but I hope you enjoyed the depths the DME Team went to pull it off. I also hope you continue to read this blog and follow my adventures on Drinking Made Easy.

Thanks again for re-affirming day.

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