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Recipe: Joey’s Meatballs (v2)

( #meatballs )


NOTE: You can use whatever meat you want for this recipe, but I used a blend yesterday so that is what I am going to use in the directions.

INGREDIENTS:

Meatballs:
1 lb – ground Beef (80/20)
½ lb – ground veal
½ lb – ground pork
3 slices of Italian bread (cut off crusts and cube)
½ cup of milk
2 eggs
½ cup of breadcrumbs
½ cup of grated cheese (parm-reg)
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon parsley
½ teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon of garlic salt
salt and pepper to taste

Sauce:
1 16 oz can of crushed tomatoes
½ large Spanish onion (diced)
3 cloves of garlic (pressed/diced)
½ cup of white wine
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon thyme
salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

You have to make the sauce first because you will line the pan when baking the meatballs.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
2. Get a sauce pan and set stove top to medium heat. Add olive oil and let it warm up. Then add the onions and cook for about 4 minutes.
3. Add the garlic cook for 3 more minutes
4. Optional: Add a splash of Worcestershire sauce to the onions and garlic and stir.
5. Bring the heat to high and then add the white wine to glaze the onions (1-2 minutes – don’t let it burn)
6. Add the crushed tomatoes, mix everything well.
7. All the oregano, parsley, red pepper flakes, thyme, salt and pepper to the sauce. Mix well and then drop heat to a simmer.
8. Allow the sauce to cook for 15 minutes (leave the sauce in the pan, you will need this setup later)

9. Get a deep cookie sheet and line the pan with the tomato sauce. Set it aside until you are ready to roll the meatballs.
10. In a large bowl, soak the bread you cube in the milk. Let it get really soggy to the point that it falls apart.
11. Add the two eggs and the oregano, parsley, thyme, garlic salt, salt and pepper to the bowl and mix well.
12. Add the meat and mix with your hands. Then add the grated cheese and breadcrumbs. Continue to mix well with your hands.
13. Start to roll the meat into balls with your hands (I like them to be the diameter of a half dollar, or just a little bit smaller). Place the meatballs onto the cookie sheet that you put the sauce on.
14. Put the meatballs in the oven for 40 minutes.
15. Heat up the tomato sauce again and when the meatballs are done, put them in the pan and toss them around for 5 minutes to soak up the tomato sauce flavor.

Serve them in a bowl alone, in a sandwich, or with pasta.

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Book Review: Shadow Puppets by Orson Scott Card

( #endersgame )

Continuing with my reviews of the “Shadow Saga” in the “Ender Universe”, I recently finished reading the third book in the series, “Shadow Puppets”. The book begins a short time after the events of “Shadow of the Hegemon”, and focuses on resolving the Achilles plot as well updating readers on what has happened to the rest of Ender’s Dragon Army.

Bean’s genetic disorder has increased his height greatly but he is still within a reasonable frame for a human being. Petra has fallen in love with Bean and spends the first chapters of the book convincing him to marry her. This is a good point to stop and address the “yuck factor”. As far as I can tell, both Bean and Petra are still children (early teens) and Card has Petra spending half the book yearning to have Bean’s babies. Card tries to steer away from ages in the book so readers understand the characters have “grown up”, but then you have the issue of Bean’s disorder and how he won’t live that long and you can’t get away from it.

The plot centers around Peter Wiggin’s decision to free Achilles from China. Bean and Petra flee the Hegemon compound and warn Peter of the mistake. And here is my issue with the book: it was a terrible plot device to justify having the third book. The characters spend the entire book attempting to avoid the dangerous Achilles and his plots to kill them. Every action the characters make are just completely off the wall, here is a sampling:
1. Peter’s mom, who has no military training, attempts to assassinate Achilles to save her son.
2. Bean and Petra decide to use the evil dude who created him to make test tube babies, and he promptly steals them (setting up the forth book).
3. At least two characters become religious military figures (wtf).
4. Bean’s loyal army just let Achilles take over (and then at the end reveal they were always loyal to Bean, they just needed Achilles to explain his plan).

You know what, let me save you some time so you don’t have to read this book… Bean kills Achilles, Petra is pregnant with Bean’s baby, Achilles was responsible for the theft of the test tube babies and has implanted them in his “followers”. Sorry Ender fans, this one was a total stinker.

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Book Review: Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card

( #EndersGame )

I finished reading the 2nd book in the “Bean Series” of the “Ender Saga” the other night and I wanted to get my thoughts down before getting too wrapped up in the third book. “Shadow of the Hegemon” takes places a few months after the conclusion of “Ender’s Shadow”. All of the military school graduates (except Ender) are back on Earth and seem to be struggling going back to their “normal lives”.

The villain from the last book, Achilles, somehow gets involved with Russia and starts kidnapping all of the battle school graduates. Ender’s crew become the most sought-after and are either kidnapped, co-opted, or re-kidnapped into serving various nations. Bean, being known as the smartest graduate to return, is targeted for death since Achilles convinces the other nations he won’t work with them. Of course Bean figures this out and gets himself and his family to safety. He knows all of this power-grabbing will start with war and end with a unified world government, but the main plot is what country will take total control. Bean is fairly indifferent, but when his best friend Petra is kidnapped by Achilles and is forced into becoming the main strategist of his plans, Bean establishes opposing forces to save her.

All of the children have issues being accepted by their adult peers after their service in the Formic Wars. Card repeats the scenario of “adult gets in kid’s way, kid finds a way around adult, makes adult look foolish.” This happens with almost every main character several times. Unlike the last book, Card’s politics and preferences leak out in little ways throughout the book. Card’s obsession with Brazil and China are re-established and he makes a few jabs about Kennedy’s presidency. Thematically, this book is very different from “Ender’s Shadow” and “Ender’s Game”, it is more political and spends little time on space and “advanced technology”. Once again, Card leaves plot points on the table to continue the series, even though there was no good reason except to keep the books going (kind of like why Batman never kills the Joker even though he keeps killing thousands of people every time he gets out of jail).

Overall this book was a much better follow-up than “Speaker for the Dead” was for “Ender’s Game”. Card continues his story with familiar characters that you want to read about and manages to keep obvious personal opinions to a minimum.

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Wedding Guest Douchebag

I had a good weekend. My wife’s friends got married: the ceremony was beautiful, the reception was in an awesome place, and the couple’s unique spin on classic wedding traditions made the whole event really nice. This post is not about the wedding, but what happened after.

Like most weddings, there was a little gathering at the hotel bar. We went downstairs to have a drink with one of my wife’s college friends (we will call her Z-Go) and say hello to the bride when she made it down. We were seated at the bar when one of the other guests goes up to the bartender, who was clearly Hispanic, and says the following:

Douche: Hola Amigo, Musica?
Bartender: (Looks confused and somewhat annoyed)
Douche: Amigo… Musica!?
Bartender: You want me to play music? (Bartender walks over to turn on the music)
Douche: Si, musica!
Douche: Gracias!

The bartender looks at me and rolls his eyes, I immediately say “I am not with that guy” and he laughs.

He did.

I had to ask the obvious question: “Maybe he was Hispanic too?” It was later confirmed by the bride that he was not Hispanic and had a history of “going Spanish” while drunk.

A bit later, we decided to go to bed and we went to say goodbye to the bride who was talking to a group of friends. The Douche was in the group. He began to touch Z-Go’s necklace and said “those are pretty beads”, she gives him a dirty look and walks away. As we get into the elevator Z-Go proceeds to let loose a series of profanities capped off with “If it wasn’t a wedding, I would have punched that guy in the face.” If only she did.

Don’t touch someone’s accessories without accepting the fact that you may get punched in the face. Actually touch away, you deserve to get knocked out by a 95 lb girl.

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Book Review: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

( #ReadyPlayerOne )

If you are a fan of 80’s nostalgia, MMRPGs, and straight up nerd culture I have a book for you. My editor at Best SF Books turned me on to “Ready Player One” after I wrote a review of “Reamde”. Both books utilize online role playing games as the back drop for their stories. While Reamde has a more serious tone, “Ready Player One” is a more light-hearted and fun read, it reminded me of a hightech upgrade of Willy Wonka.

The plot is set 50 years in the future where the environment is trashed and there are massive energy shortages. Most people have fallen below the poverty line and live in trailer parks that have been stacked vertically due to lack of space. Wade, the main character, is a teenager struggling to survive living in the trailer park. Author Earnest Cline gives Wade a “Harry Potter” back story: his parent’s are dead and he lives with an Aunt that doesn’t care about him. Wade escapes his horrid existence by logging into OASIS which is a massive online world. Most people live their entire lives inside of the OASIS system, Wade even goes to school there.

The inventor of OASIS died a few years before the start of the story. In his will, he announces a contest in the game system, with the winner getting all of his money (over 200 billion dollars) and control of the company that makes the OASIS game. There is another company called IOI, that has become extremely profitable offering services in OASIS, they want to win the contest and take control of the online world. Wade figures out the first clue putting him on the world’s radar and in IOI’s cross-hairs.

Overall, “Ready Player One” is a charming book that borrows a little from many different areas. The book feels familiar and Cline’s writing style is smooth and easy (I finished the book in 2 days without really trying). The story drags a bit in the middle (typical main character self-loathing which seems to be a requisite for modern books), but Cline moves past it before it becomes a problem. Also, due to the familiar feeling of the book, I never felt like the antagonists have a chance at winning which takes the punch out of the conflict, but honestly, after reading the first page you know Charlie is going to get the chocolate factory, you just want to know how.

“Ready Player One” is a fun book that celebrates 80’s culture and gaming in the package of an adventure. The story is like chocolate cake, I can’t think of anybody that won’t like it.

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Book Review: Zone One by Colson Whitehead

( #ZoneOne, #Zombies )

Frequent readers of this blog know I love zombies and that in my opinion “World War Z” is by far the best zombie fiction written to date (I am just getting that out of the way). That being said, Colson Whitehead’s “Zone One” is an excellent entry into the genre. It is well written, takes a unique perspective, and leaves the reader wanting more.

Whitehead has an interesting writing style. His paragraphs are dense and somewhat circular. This is not a criticism by any means but not something you see often in horror fiction (and certainly not in zombie fiction). There is an almost poetic rhythm that left me with the impression that Whitehead labored over each word. Since I tend to speed read, I found myself going over sentences a few times to make sure I got everything (bravo for making me savor the page).

The story is about recovery after a zombie apocalypse (similar to “World War Z”). Unlike WWZ, humanity is not on solid ground. The zombies are still active and the recovered areas are under siege by the undead. The main character, Mark, is part of a team that is assigned to sweep New York city. The army has already done most of the heavy lifting, but buildings and tunnels still need to be checked and cleared for repopulation. As the team clears out the buildings, they tell each other their survival stories (so readers can learn the history of the plague).

This book has a harder tone than WWZ, but it is still not as bleak as most of the zombie fiction out there. The main theme of survival is played out in a variety of ways: the characters demonstrate a clear will to live, but there is also tremendous survivor’s guilt. Most zombie fiction comes with social criticism, “Zone One” is light but Whitehead hints at an undercurrent of disgust at the reformed government’s attempt at recreating society as it was.

“Zone One” is an well written book that is less horror and more about the personal toll of surviving a disaster. If you enjoyed WWZ, I have no doubt you will like this book.