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Book Review: Cain by Jose Saramago

( #Cain, #JoseSaramago )

I picked this book up by chance the other day and knocked it out before I found a reason not to read it. Yes, “Cain” is about the guy who killed his brother (the first murder), but the book moves past that pretty quickly. Essentially, author Jose Saramago uses Cain to be an unbiased witness of all of God’s “divine acts of justice” during the old testament.

Saramago kind of absolves Cain from murdering his brother by establishing God as the antagonizer of the initial conflict. God accepts some responsibility for the situation but lays down a curse where Cain is thrown around time in a non-linear fashion (think “The Time Traveler’s Wife”). Cain then witnesses God’s old school greatest hits: Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham’s attempted sacrifice of his son Isaac, God’s wager with the devil regarding Job, Jericho, and ending with the Noah’s great flood.

While Cain is not necessarily a heroic character, he is by default the character you are rooting for. Jose Saramago’s old testament God is nothing short of a colossal asshole: petty, jealous, and out of touch. Most of the “devout” heroes of religious lore are cast and moronic sheep that will blindly follow the Lord’s orders without any thought to the consequences. As Cain sees each act, he becomes more disgusted with God until their final confrontation at the end of the book.

Even with a bit of leeway due to the source material, there are some plot holes that the reader just has to roll over. Saramago doesn’t do a great job at the start of the book explaining the curse and the fact that Cain is being tossed around in time. I don’t have my biblical chronology memorized, so it took me a while to figure out what was happening. Also he spends a few pages talking about how the “mark of Cain” will be a great hindrance in his dealings with people, but it never is.

Those comments aside, I found myself enjoying “Cain”. The book has a fast pace – not lingering on any subject too long (which suits my reading tastes well). Jose Saramago handles the religious materials well and manages to conclude the book with a twist which was much appreciated. If you consider yourself a good God-fearing Christian, this book will probably offend you. If you grew up with bible stories, don’t get offended easily, and think old testament God was a bit of a dick, you will probably enjoy this book.

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Book Review: Brains: A Zombie Memoir by Robin Becker

( #zombies, #brains )

I just finished reading a short zombie novel called “Brains: A Zombie Memoir”. This books take a more comedic approach to the zombie genre by having the lead character named Jack (who is undead) retain his memories and ability to think and write. Jack assembles a team of zombies who have managed to retain certain skills like running or shooting a gun and attempt to find the man responsible for the outbreak.

This book is way too similar to another zombie comedy I read a few months ago called “Zombie, Ohio” by Scott Kenemore. Allow me to review the similarities:

  • Both books feature male lead characters that retained their memories after they become zombies.
  • Both characters were college professors.
  • Both characters cheated on their significant other before zombification.
  • Both characters quickly embrace their zombie natures and gleefully eat people (both books make it an almost sexual experience).
  • Both books have the main character assemble and lead a zombie army.

Like “Zombie, Ohio”, “Brains” reads like fan fiction… bad fan fiction. Becker is going for a comedic tone, so there is no tension. She uses terms like “yummy” when the zombies eat brains, and it comes off as childish. Like the zombies she writes about, the plot wanders. Jack the zombie eventually finds his way to the scientists, but by the time it happens you don’t care because Becker moves the reader past it.

While I don’t normally come down this hard on books, I felt that “Brains” could have been much better. “Zombie, Ohio” also had room for improvement, but the author had fun with the environment he created. “Brains” is a paint-by-numbers zombie story that just goes through the motions.

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Book Review: Ender in Exile by Orson Scott Card

( #EndersGame )

If you have been reading this blog over the last month, you will have noticed I have been on an “Ender’s Game” kick. I am sure you will be glad to read that Ender is ending with this review. “Ender in Exile” brings readers back to the titular character of Ender Wiggin, who I missed a great deal during the “Shadow Saga”. Exile is an auxiliary book, you don’t have to read it to understand the main storyline in either series, but it does fill in some gaps in the timeline that I actually appreciated.

This book takes place between the last chapter of “Ender’s Game” and the first chapter of “Speaker for the Dead”. Speaker kind of pissed me off because you never really learned about what Ender did with his teenage years or his twenties. This book attempts to fill that gap, but something strange happens along the way…

Most of the book is about Ender’s travel to the first colony (which was eventually named Shakespeare). Long story short, the ship’s captain is a pompous ass that doesn’t think a teenager can run a colony (even if he just finished saving the world). The captain positions himself to take over Shakespeare for himself when they arrive. Card creates an almost comedic tension between the two, I just kept thinking about the Home Alone movies (the kid outsmarts the robbers at every turn). Readers know that Ender gets to the colony so the fact that so many pages were spent on this conflict were a waste. While wasteful, it was nice to read about a youthful Ender taking people down instead of having a terrible marriage and loudmouth adopted children.

The last 30% of the book is spent on the Indian colony that Virlomi established. Bean’s last genetically enhanced child (who was raised by a crazy woman that Achilles hand picked) grows up on the new colony creating problems for that planet’s leadership. Eventually Ender leaves Shakespeare to deal with the situation as a favor to his lost friend. Card basically wraps up that loose plot thread from the Shadow Saga, so if you want to know what happens to Bean’s lost child you need to read this book.

I liked this book even though there really isn’t a solid reason to. Exile is like a mid-season throw away episode of a tv show. Basically you gets some cool character moments, but nothing important happens. Since Card gives up on Ender in the middle of “Xenocide”, I enjoyed reading Ender in his prime again. If you are new to the series, I would definitely read this after the original book because the character you love disappears after “Speaker for the Dead”.

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Book Review: Shadow of the Giant by Orson Scott Card

( #EndersGame )

After my last review, I almost quit reading the “Ender Series”. But since there was only one book left of the “Shadow Saga”, I wanted to see how it all worked out. I am glad I stuck with it because “Shadow of the Giant” was much better than the last two books.

The book definitively wraps up the hegemon storyline concluding with Peter Wiggin as an old man. The last two books depicted the battle to unify humanity under one world government after the “Formic Wars”. Some of it was good, some of it was bad, most of it was “meh”. Since “Shadow of the Giant” was the finale, the writing in this book was consistent, the motives were much clearer, and (for the most part) none of these “genius” characters did anything that defied logic (although there was the one scene were Peter’s parents talk about farting which was out of place).

Card does a solid job getting most of the characters to reasonable places to make the end battle tie everything up…except Virlomi who somehow decides she is a goddess for no reason and foolishly leads the Indian army against China. Essentially, Orson Card trapped himself by establishing the battle school graduates are all military prodigies, none of them can make a mistake “unless they temporarily go nuts”. And I say temporarily because the second she loses, she comes back to her senses and they give her an entire planet to lead. Really.

The point about Virlomi’s behavior brings me to my other major criticism: Card treats his female characters horribly:
1. Valentine from the first series is supposed to be a genius but always plays supportive second fiddle to Ender and Peter. She never really has a defining moment in any of the books.
2. Mrs. Wiggin is first written to be an idiot, but then fleshed out in the Shadow saga to be really smart but bitter and sarcastic.
3. Petra is relegated to becoming a baby making machine. 10 children total by the end of her life. Card gives her one scene were she leads a small campaign which was written off as “a distraction.” Also, she is the only one of Ender’s Jeesh in the first book to crack under the pressure of the battles, a point brought up often, but she never really has an epic dare to be great situation where she gets the stink off.
4. I mentioned Virlomi’s issues above
5. Since I am talking about all the female characters, Ender’s wife in the first series – Novinha is an absolutely horrible bitch. No redeeming qualities at all. Her character is a narrative black hole. The Novinha character essentially ruins Ender so badly that Card kind of hits a magic reset button to get him out of the marriage while saving face.

Readers – is there one female character that comes out positive (don’t say Jane, she is a computer)?

Female issues aside, I would rank Shadow of the Giant #3 (out of the 8 books) in terms of quality and payoff. There was an emotionally satisfying end for Peter and ties back to the original books. It is funny how the four “Shadow Saga” books have echoed the original four, Card seems to get tired of his main character and shifts focus to someone else by the end. In “Children of the Mind“, Ender was in such bad shape as a character, Card literally flushed the toilet and made a new Ender. In the Shadow series, Bean is the focus, but by the fourth book Peter becomes the lead. This time around, Card does it much more gracefully and the results are considerably better. I enjoyed this last book so much that I purchased “Ender in Exile” to read, so be on the lookout for that review.

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Recipe: Joey’s Meatballs (v2)

( #meatballs )


NOTE: You can use whatever meat you want for this recipe, but I used a blend yesterday so that is what I am going to use in the directions.

INGREDIENTS:

Meatballs:
1 lb – ground Beef (80/20)
½ lb – ground veal
½ lb – ground pork
3 slices of Italian bread (cut off crusts and cube)
½ cup of milk
2 eggs
½ cup of breadcrumbs
½ cup of grated cheese (parm-reg)
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon parsley
½ teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon of garlic salt
salt and pepper to taste

Sauce:
1 16 oz can of crushed tomatoes
½ large Spanish onion (diced)
3 cloves of garlic (pressed/diced)
½ cup of white wine
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
½ teaspoon thyme
salt and pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:

You have to make the sauce first because you will line the pan when baking the meatballs.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
2. Get a sauce pan and set stove top to medium heat. Add olive oil and let it warm up. Then add the onions and cook for about 4 minutes.
3. Add the garlic cook for 3 more minutes
4. Optional: Add a splash of Worcestershire sauce to the onions and garlic and stir.
5. Bring the heat to high and then add the white wine to glaze the onions (1-2 minutes – don’t let it burn)
6. Add the crushed tomatoes, mix everything well.
7. All the oregano, parsley, red pepper flakes, thyme, salt and pepper to the sauce. Mix well and then drop heat to a simmer.
8. Allow the sauce to cook for 15 minutes (leave the sauce in the pan, you will need this setup later)

9. Get a deep cookie sheet and line the pan with the tomato sauce. Set it aside until you are ready to roll the meatballs.
10. In a large bowl, soak the bread you cube in the milk. Let it get really soggy to the point that it falls apart.
11. Add the two eggs and the oregano, parsley, thyme, garlic salt, salt and pepper to the bowl and mix well.
12. Add the meat and mix with your hands. Then add the grated cheese and breadcrumbs. Continue to mix well with your hands.
13. Start to roll the meat into balls with your hands (I like them to be the diameter of a half dollar, or just a little bit smaller). Place the meatballs onto the cookie sheet that you put the sauce on.
14. Put the meatballs in the oven for 40 minutes.
15. Heat up the tomato sauce again and when the meatballs are done, put them in the pan and toss them around for 5 minutes to soak up the tomato sauce flavor.

Serve them in a bowl alone, in a sandwich, or with pasta.

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Book Review: Shadow Puppets by Orson Scott Card

( #endersgame )

Continuing with my reviews of the “Shadow Saga” in the “Ender Universe”, I recently finished reading the third book in the series, “Shadow Puppets”. The book begins a short time after the events of “Shadow of the Hegemon”, and focuses on resolving the Achilles plot as well updating readers on what has happened to the rest of Ender’s Dragon Army.

Bean’s genetic disorder has increased his height greatly but he is still within a reasonable frame for a human being. Petra has fallen in love with Bean and spends the first chapters of the book convincing him to marry her. This is a good point to stop and address the “yuck factor”. As far as I can tell, both Bean and Petra are still children (early teens) and Card has Petra spending half the book yearning to have Bean’s babies. Card tries to steer away from ages in the book so readers understand the characters have “grown up”, but then you have the issue of Bean’s disorder and how he won’t live that long and you can’t get away from it.

The plot centers around Peter Wiggin’s decision to free Achilles from China. Bean and Petra flee the Hegemon compound and warn Peter of the mistake. And here is my issue with the book: it was a terrible plot device to justify having the third book. The characters spend the entire book attempting to avoid the dangerous Achilles and his plots to kill them. Every action the characters make are just completely off the wall, here is a sampling:
1. Peter’s mom, who has no military training, attempts to assassinate Achilles to save her son.
2. Bean and Petra decide to use the evil dude who created him to make test tube babies, and he promptly steals them (setting up the forth book).
3. At least two characters become religious military figures (wtf).
4. Bean’s loyal army just let Achilles take over (and then at the end reveal they were always loyal to Bean, they just needed Achilles to explain his plan).

You know what, let me save you some time so you don’t have to read this book… Bean kills Achilles, Petra is pregnant with Bean’s baby, Achilles was responsible for the theft of the test tube babies and has implanted them in his “followers”. Sorry Ender fans, this one was a total stinker.