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Concert Review: Ryan Adams @ The Uptown Theater (Napa, Ca)

( @theRyanAdams, #Napa, @JasonIsbell )
Opening Act: Jason Isbell
Date: Saturday, October 15th, 2011
Location: Uptown Theater – Napa, Ca

When Ryan Adams announced he was taking a break a few years ago I really wondered if he was going to play live again. Articles about Meniere’s disease and burn out made it seem like it could be a long time before a tour would be a reality. In the spring, Ryan announced select dates in Europe and I started putting away some money for a trip to California (Europe was too expensive, and I figured he might do a few dates near his home), he surprised many with a full blown tour. Long story short: I get to see him twice this year, as you can see in this review, I have no complaints.

[Opening Act: Jason Isbell]

Normally, I do a little research on opening acts, but I have been so busy with work that I completely forgot to do it. When Jason Isbell walked on stage and announced he was Muscle Shoals, Alabama I whispered to my wife “I wonder if he is in The Drive By Truckers” thanks to an piece I heard about them on NPR. He quickly confirmed my suspicions.

Isbell was sublime. I am so glad that I didn’t know much about him or his material because I had a chance to absorb his performance without any expectations. He is an outstanding guitar player and singer. Isbell has a natural way of bantering with the audience that comes from experience. Jason did a song that was based on a conversation with his dad that really sent a shiver up my spine. I can’t wait to get home and track down this guy’s back catalog because he is such a good songwriter.

[The Main Event: Ryan Adams]

Ryan Adams was excellent in every way last night. Since the venue held under 1,000 people and the show was billed as an acoustic performance, it was a very intimate. The one thing that stood out to me (after having gone to several Ryan Adams concerts) – is just how good his voice sounded. Ryan’s ability to convey emotion through his voice is often overlooked in favor of his prolific songwriting, but his voice might be the greatest weapon in his arsenal.

This was most definitely a thank you show to the fans. He played the perfect mix of “greatest hits”, new tunes, and fan favorites. Since he was solo, he tweaked several songs to make up for the lack of a band. The subtle changes were welcome and kept me listening for the changes. Ryan did a really nice solo at the end of “I see Monsters” that was new but fit perfectly. I am not going to rattle off every tune Adams played, but I am happy to have witnessed live performances of “Winding Wheel” and his piano version of “New York, New York” (they were awesome).

Ryan bantered with the crowd throughout the show. There was no tension. A few people in the crowd shouted out requests, but Ryan took it in stride and moved on with his set list. He broke out several improvised songs about people moving around going to the bathroom (it was funny, he kept asking them to come back, “Its not 2004!”). And the end of the main set, Adams soaked in the applause of the crowd. I have been to several Ryan Adams concerts in the past where he ran off the stage at the end of the show, it was nice to say thank you properly this time.

Ryan came back out and did a few tunes with Jason Isbell. He ended the show with an old Whiskeytown song “Jacksonville Skyline” – it was a fitting and satisfying ending to a memorable performance.. This show was a mutual love note between Ryan and the crowd and I am really glad I had a chance to witness it.

[The Curse]

I can’t do a concert review without sharing crowd experiences. I thought I was going to break the curse last night and not have any issues with an audience member because this was a fan oriented show. Wrong. There were four girls in front of us that talked THE ENTIRE TIME. At first the main offender was trying to keep it low, so it was easy to ignore her, but as the night progressed they all got sloppy drunk. She had to sing every song. She was told several times to quiet down, but as they got drunker she just laughed. Did I want to push her down the steps at the end of the night? I can’t say (yes). Oh well – at least she knew the words…

UPDATE:
Ryan posted this clip from the show on his facebook page

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Rant: Drinking with Co-workers

( #co-workers, #drinking )

The Most Interesting Man In The World Says: “I don’t always drink with co-workers, but when I do, I wish I didn’t.”


I learned several lessons as a young adult about socializing with co-workers. Recent experiences while drinking with professionals (no just co-workers) have led me to create this rules of engagement document:

1. Unless expressly stated by both parties, a co-worker is not a friend. Do not treat them like one while socializing after hours. A co-worker can become a friend, but I suspect those chances are diminished greatly if people are losing control after a few drinks.

2. Don’t talk about work. You probably just left the office and that project is falling behind, but use the time together to get to know someone as a human being, not complain—we all have problems.

3. Don’t talk about work. Seriously, I know it is weird to try to start a conversation about something other than work stuff, but try, it pays off.

4. Be aware of other people around you: See how I said not to talk about work? I was in a bar a while back and people were complaining about work…LOUDLY. There was a girl who was obviously put off by the conversation and she had her head buried in her phone. I really thought she was tweeting the conversation. I checked when I got home but didn’t find anything—that could have been a horrible situation.

5. Try to keep some of your more personal beliefs to yourself for a while: Topics regarding religion and politics should be avoided. I know this is funny coming from someone who has a blog that talks about this stuff, but the point is, I don’t rub it in people’s faces. After a few social events, if you feel like you know the person well enough to test the waters, go for it, but be prepared to back off if you have different views because you have to work with this person.

6. Having marital problems? I don’t care. Open marriage? I don’t want to know. Please don’t ask the bartender for their number when I am in your company—that actually goes for any social situation and the rule applies to the wait staff as well.
Additional Advice: If you have a bar you really like or are a regular at, don’t bring co-workers there until you know they are okay. If things get weird you might get banned from your favorite watering hole.

7. If you happen to be invited to someone’s home, don’t go through their house (this happened to a co-worker several years ago). If you see a guitar or other musical instrument, don’t pick it up and start playing unless you are asked. You will look like a douchebag (well honestly, if you are rummaging around in somebody’s house, you probably are a douchebag).

8. Don’t start a fight at a bar when you are with co-workers. Sounds like common sense right? This includes saying anything that warrants you being punched in the face. Personally, I will not help you and will be hoping you lose a tooth.

9. Assuming we are working under the conditions I have outlined above—no shots.

Thanks for reading. It is my intent to help the workers of the world avoid making complete fools out of themselves and to (selfishly) avoid having to be in your company if you act like this. If you work with me, these are my ground rules for socializing. This article is a work in progress and will probably be updated several times.

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Customer Service: Pep Boys

( @pepboysauto, #repairs )

I had an interesting couple of days with our cars. On Thursday, my friend known as GTT texted me to tell me that my wife’s car in the driveway had a flat tire. I was in the office and could not deal with it until I got home (my wife and I carpool). Long story short, there was a screw in the tire and I decided to wait until the next day since we were both working from home.

The next morning, we got the spare on and I followed Allison over to Pep Boys so she could get the tired repaired. Heading down Woodbury-Glassboro Road in Pitman, the cops decided to have a check-point. Allison got through with no issue, but my car had a brake light out, and when they pulled me over I informed them that my driver-side window was broken. This thing has been giving me trouble for months (it kept getting stuck). Long story short, I got stuck with the cops for a while, but didn’t get a ticket. I knew I had to get this thing properly fixed. So after her car was fixed, we left mine. I knew this was not going to be cheap.

This is where I will pause and pose a question that I generally get: “Why do you take your car to Pep Boys?”

My answers are many and there will be several in the course of this little story:
1. They are close
2. They are a corporation, so should I get poor service (which I have not), there is a chain of command I can follow to get my issues resolved.
3. They always have parts
4. They are much much better than Firestone (I have a whole story with them for another day).

One other thing about this particular chain (Glassboro, NJ), they have done several small fixes for my wife and I at no cost. A month ago, a heat shield half fell off my car and they removed it and cleaned up the area at no cost (and told me I didn’t need anything else to be done even though I was willing to get repairs done). They also fixed my wife’s flat at no charge (but I think that comes with their tire service when you buy from them – but either way, it was nice).

Back to my story, the manager called me and told me the repair was not going to be cheap (over $500) because the motor in the window had to be replaced. As I said, I was expecting this. They had to get a part from another store, but the car would be done that day. THAT DAY. When the car was done and I went in to pay, they let me use a 10% off coupon and the cashier noticed I had a $30 mail in credit that I didn’t think I could use in combination (so I didn’t mention it), but they saw it in my hand and let me use. Pep Boys sends coupons for service almost every month. Its smart of their part but also works out well for the consumer.

I figured I would put this out there since several popular blog posts document my negative experiences with car rental places, ticketmaster, and other retail outlets. I always have decent experiences with Pep Boys and never feel like I got taken advantage of. Their monthly coupons are smart because they keep us thinking about services for our cars. They execute a nice mix of good service, good marketing, and availability. Well done.

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Remembering Nancy

This weekend my wife’s family had a memorial service for her Grandmother Nancy. Nancy died several weeks back, but the family decided to hold off on formal services until the entire clan could gather from various locations. It was a very practical decision. It was very Nancy.

I was essentially an outsider in this situation, I wasn’t a part of the collective memories that was a direct result of this woman’s existence and the decisions she made (BTW, I am not saying I haven’t been embraced by my wife’s family, they have always been quite welcoming). Because of Nancy’s decisions, I have my wife, and my life with her. So I thought I would take a moment to reflect on Nancy and thank her in my own way.

I don’t remember the first time I met Nancy, I am sure Allison brought me over there to introduce me at some point during our first summer together, but my first real concrete memory of her was Christmas. When I was single and dating, I used to have a rule about spending Christmas with other people’s family. I didn’t. My thoughts being the same as the 2nd paragraph of this post, you are an outsider in an intimate family moment. I was not entirely thrilled with the idea of going into a house full of people I didn’t know (or didn’t know well) and getting mixed up in their memories.

But a funny thing happened when I walked in… all hell was breaking lose in the best possible way. Every square inch of Nancy’s home was occupied with activity. Nancy immediately welcomed us into the house and then cut us lose to fend for ourselves. No pretense, no formality. These people were just trying to have a good time and she was the force at the center of it, keeping all of these very different people together and tethered.

I walked away from that evening glad that I was there, glad that I got to be a part of some collective memory building (wondering if there would be more in the future), and managed to develop an outstanding misunderstanding thanks to Allison’s sister (she had me thinking their aunt had a gambling problem, it just turned out my sister-in-law didn’t want us playing cards).

At the root of this whole dynamic, there was Nancy. I think the adage “they don’t build them like they used to” would be a very appropriate statement about Nancy Danks. Over the last 6 years, I managed to sneak over and have a few “deep” conversations with Nance about the state of the world, religion, living, and dying which would always somehow be mixed into conversations about the best brand of mayo or her favorite brand of chips…and it all made sense.

I am glad I had a few years to get to know Nancy. I am damn grateful that she was here on this planet and made the decisions she made (good, bad, and covered with gravy). She was a warm-hearted, funny lady that did things her own way… something that I will always remember and respect her for.

Courier Post

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A bad friend and the ghosts of 9/11

This story is intended to be read with a little humor and sadness. I was fortunate, nobody I knew died in the 9/11 attacks 10 years ago, and because of that, it was easy to take the event for granted. Once the initial threat had passed, I went on with my life and didn’t think much of it. Events like this story, brought the situation home and made it real for me.

Prelude: September 11th, 2001

I guess 9/11 will be my generation’s “where were you when Kennedy was shot”. Like the Kennedy stories I heard my parents tell often, I remember exactly what I was doing when the planes hit the Twin Towers. I was in an odd conference room in the front of my company’s old office in Voorhees, NJ. I had requested a television and VCR because I was training a co-op and future friend (who I call “Shame” in this blog) and we were watching networking basics videos.

I had just started the film when a manager (his name was Rich Cafferty, who was a really cool guy, he has since passed away) burst into the room and said “Holy Shit, you have a TV, get the news on.” I asked what was happening and he told us that a plane had hit one of the towers in New York. At the time we still thought it might have been an accident. The television quickly dismissed that thought.

The rest of the day was spent worrying about friends and family and we wondered what would happen next. But that day passed and things went back to normal for most people, it certainly did for me.

Later…

18 months after the events of 9-11, my favorite co-op Shame was now up for a full time job with the company. At the time, it helped your chances to secure full time employment if you went out to intern and development program social events (aka happy hours). I was on the development team’s leadership group and usually forced Shame to go to these events (against both of our better judgement).

On this particular evening, we happened to be at Tir Na Nog in Center City (Philadelphia). After the typical networking requirements were out of the way, some people left and the rest of us started to seriously drink. Shame had gone outside to smoke and I went to the bar to grab a drink. I noticed an attractive girl looking at me, so I asked the bartender what the girl and her friend were drinking and asked her to give them a refill (I was on the other side of the bar). The girls accepted my drink and came over to speak to me. As if on command, Shame appeared to claim one of my new friends.

Having witnessed Shame in action, I knew it was better to let him get first pick and be done with it. Through a series of facial ticks and gestures, Shame established his preference. It so happened that he did not pick the girl I was interested in, so I thought we were going to have a good, conflict-free night. Wrong.

The girls finished their drinks and suggested we head over to Rotten Ralphs. They must have been reading my mind because I did not want my other co-workers around to start gossip, off we went. We started doing shots. And more shots. This evening had the potential to make one hell of a story. Shame and his friend got up and walked away for a while. I got to know my new lady-friend a little better until Shame came back alone…

“Where is Kate?” I should note that I am making this name up, both to protect the innocent and also because I do not remember either girl’s name anymore. Shame pulled me aside and asked me if I could go out to talk to her. He said that she started crying and didn’t know why. I knew exactly what his move was. He viewed “Kate” as a lost cause and wanted to move into my territory. We go back to the table and he basically repeats his request in front of my lady-friend. He trapped me: I looked like an asshole if I don’t go out, but if I do, he gets the green light to commit the robbery.

Looking back, I have to wonder why my lady-friend didn’t go to check on “Kate”, I have to think “Kate” either pulled this crying move before or my lady-friend was just a rotten person, either way, I got up to talk to “Kate”. Her eyes were red and puffy and she was still sort of crying, I assumed Shame made an inappropriate advance. I asked her what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help; she immediately started to tell me that her fiance died in the 9-11 attack and she still wasn’t over it. Certainly not what I was expecting. It didn’t help matters that “Kate” had too much to drink and was staggering. I was wondering where this was going to go (if she was going to come back inside), but she did not leave me wondering for long.

“Can you walk me home?”

Before any of you perverts get the wrong idea, the thought never crossed my mind to do anything other than take this poor creature home. I hooked her arm over my shoulder and walked her to her apartment complex nearby (which is why I am assuming they picked Ralph’s in the first place). There were benches in the front and I sat her down. I wanted to make sure she was at the right place and that she was okay to get up to her apartment (I made it clear I was staying down in the lobby).

I asked her if she had spoken to anyone professionally about what happened. She said she talked to a counselor at work but stopped after a few sessions. “Kate” basically told me she tried to talk to friends and family but they were starting to get sick of hearing it. I told her she should see someone not aligned to work, or friends because she needed an objective opinion. She nodded as another tear rolled down her red puffy cheek. She got up and thanked me for walking her home, called me a “gentlemen” and staggered into the gold doors and up the elevator.

If you are wondering what happened with Shame and my lady friend. Exactly what you would expect to happen happened. I came back and they were making out. I told Shame I was leaving but he asked me hangout (aka I was his ride home at the train station). I detected that justice might rear her head in this situation… and she did. Shame got a tad too aggressive (he might have told the girl that he loved her), she freaked out and took off. He was heartbroken for about 15 seconds until we got on the train and he passed out. I must have fallen asleep too because a PATCO employee woke us up in Lindenwold.

I often wondered what happened to “Kate”. I would like to think she eventually ditched her crappy friend, found a nice guy and made peace with everything that happened. Things don’t always end happily ever after, but in this case I sure hope it did for her…

… and I also hope that her friend got herpes.

I would say the same for Shame, but we know he is STD free thanks to his yearly December check-ups and subsequent memo.

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Book Review: The Lincoln Lawyer

( #LincolnLawyer, #MichaelConnelly )

I finished reading “The Lincoln Lawyer” by Michael Connelly last night and here are my thoughts about the book…

I equate reading Michael Connelly’s novel “The Lincoln Lawyer” to eating McDonalds; it is geared for the masses, not great for you, but satisfying in that “know what to expect” and “good for what it is” kind of way. The story borrows a little bit from every kind of male-centered story:

  • Motivated, success driven male lead (with “cool” career like doctor, lawyer, or journalist)
  • Loyal friend that helps the lead and pays the price for the lead’s arrogance, which just helps the lead focus on success
  • The women in the lead’s life love him, even though they leave him, but still take care of him and want to get back with him
  • Unbelievable, evil enemy to overcome
  • Crazy fight and/or car chase (yes, in a book about a fucking lawyer)

Even though the main character’s personality has been built from the “frat boy charm” template (the character listens to TuPac, loves Guinness, does freebies for prostitutes because his Daddy would want him to), it is still a fun read. I think Michael Connelly just decided to throw in whatever the hell he could to see if and when the editors would call him out. It doesn’t look like they did. The Mickey Haller character is completely unbelievable as a real person. If you try to identify with the character on a human level, it won’t work. Try to get into the mindset of Haller as a cartoon or a Stallone character, then you will enjoy the hell out of it.

While I am poking fun at the book, I read it all the way through and I wanted to know what happens next. This is the perfect read if you are stuck on a plane for 5 hours. You will knock it out, enjoy it, and never think about it again.

Saying all of this, look who they got to play the lead in the movie version…