Rant: Joey vs. Perfume

This is going to be short and simple readers, because there is not much to say…I hate perfume.

Hate it.

It is horrible going into the office and being trapped in an elevator with some man or woman doused in sweet, flowery, headache-inducing evil. I would rather someone rip a raunchy garbage-in-hot-weather fart and be stuck smelling it for 10 floors than even catch a whiff of perfume. I don’t understand why more people don’t talk about this problem. Getting crop-dusted by an over-quaffed perfumed dandy can ruin my day or at least a few hours of it.

Don’t people realize that these scents can adversely impact their co-workers? Let’s brainstorm readers: what can we do to protect our noses from these daily chemical attacks? Share your ideas on the feedback form, and I will update this article.

For the perfumers out there, next time you go out and buy some starlet’s fragrance, remember that other people have to smell that stuff and it will probably make them want to vomit.

Storm Preparation

( #Hurricane, #irene)

This is going to be a long post, but should contain all the basic information needed. The majority of this information comes directly from 72hours.org

After a major disaster the usual services we take for granted, such as running water, refrigeration, and telephones, may be unavailable. Experts recommend that you should be prepared to be self-sufficient for at least three days. Store your household disaster kit in an easily accessible location. Put contents in a large, watertight container (e.g. a large plastic garbage can with a lid and wheels) that you can move easily.

[Emergency Supply Kit]

Your basic emergency kit should include:

  • Water: one gallon per person per day
  • Food: ready to eat or requiring minimal water
  • Manual can opener and other cooking supplies
  • Plates, utensils and other feeding supplies
  • First Aid kit & instructions
  • A copy of important documents & phone numbers
  • Warm clothes and rain gear for each family member.
  • Heavy work gloves
  • Disposable camera
  • Unscented liquid household bleach and an eyedropper for water purification
  • Personal hygiene items including toilet paper, feminine supplies, hand sanitizer and soap
  • Plastic sheeting, duct tape and utility knife for covering broken windows
  • Tools such as a crowbar, hammer and nails, staple gun, adjustable wrench and bungee cords.
  • Blanket or sleeping bag
  • Large heavy duty plastic bags and a plastic bucket for waste and sanitation

[Go-Bag]

A component of your disaster kit is your Go-bag. Put the following items together in a backpack or another easy to carry container in case you must evacuate quickly.

  • Flashlight
  • Radio – battery operated
  • Batteries
  • Whistle
  • Dust mask
  • Pocket knife
  • Emergency cash in small denominations and quarters for phone calls
  • Sturdy shoes, a change of clothes, and a warm hat
  • Local map
  • Some water and food
  • Permanent marker, paper and tape
  • Photos of family members and pets for re-identification purposes
  • List of emergency point-of -contact phone numbers
  • List of allergies to any drug (especially antibiotics) or food
  • Copy of health insurance and identification cards
  • Extra prescription eye glasses, hearing aid or other vital personal items
  • Prescription medications and first aid supplies
  • Toothbrush and toothpaste
  • Extra keys to your house and vehicle

[Storm Preparation]

Severe storms can cause landslides, flooding, uprooted trees, and downed utility lines.
Call 3-1-1 for information on free sandbags to protect your property from flooding.

  • Tune to KCBS 740 AM or local TV channels for emergency advisories and instructions.
  • If water has entered a garage or basement, do not walk through it – it may contain hazardous materials.
  • Do not try to drive over a flooded road. If your car stalls, abandon it immediately. Attempting to move a stalled vehicle in flood conditions can be fatal.
  • If you are asked to leave your property, disconnect all electrical appliances.
  • Do not walk through moving water. Six inches of moving water can make you fall. If you must walk in water, walk where the water is not moving. Use a stick to check the firmness of the ground in front of you.
  • Stay clear of water that is in contact with downed power lines.
  • Do not allow children to play around high water, storm drains or any flooded areas.
  • If you are asked to leave your property, shut off electric circuits. If advised by your local utility, shut off gas service as well.

[Treating Water]

In a disaster, water supplies may be cut off or contaminated. Store enough water for everyone in your family to last for at least 3 days.Store one gallon of water per person, per day. Three gallons per person per day will give you enough to drink and for limited cooking and personal hygiene. Remember to plan for pets.

If you store tap water:

Tap water from a municipal water system can be safely stored without additional treatment.
Store water in food grade plastic containers, such as clean 2-liter soft drink bottles. Heavy duty, reusable plastic water containers are also available at sporting goods stores. Empty milk bottles are not recommended because their lids do not seal well and bottles may develop leaks.
Label and store in a cool, dark place (replace every 6 months).

Treating Water after Disaster:

If you run out of stored drinking water, strain and treat water from your water heater or the toilet reservoir tank (except if you use toilet tank cleaners). Swimming pool or spa water should not be consumed but you can use it for flushing toilets or washing.

Treatment Process:

Strain any large particles of dirt by pouring the water through layers of paper towels or clean cloth. Next, purify the water one of two ways:

  • Boil – bring to a rolling boil and maintain for 3-5 minutes. After the water cools, pour it back and forth between two clean containers to add oxygen back; this will improve its taste.
  • Disinfect – If the water is clear, add 8 drops (1/8 teaspoon) of bleach per gallon of water. If it is cloudy, add 16 drops (1/4 teaspoon) per gallon. Make sure you are using regular bleach— 5.25% percent sodium hypochlorite— rather than the “ultra” or “color safe” bleaches. Shake or stir, then let stand 30 minutes. A slight chlorine taste and smell is normal.

Customer Service and Social Media

( @petershankman, @Mortons )

I read this story over the weekend and feel like I needed to pass it on. In short, Peter Shankman is a writer and a speaker who loves Morton’s Steak House. Morton’s is a chain and this fellow travels quite a bit, so he frequents Mortons throughout the country.

Mortons has documented in their system that Shankman is a good customer.

One night while on a plane, he tweeted that he was craving Mortons and when he got off the plane, there was a care-package waiting for him. He of course wrote about this story on his blog (and he has 100,000+ twitter followers) and the whole situation went viral.

It should.

How much did the meal and the travel time cost Mortons? 100 bucks? And now they are getting great word of mouth and public interest. Hell – even with my butcher father, I want to check the place out. I’d love to have this set up with an outfit, so the moral of the story is that it pays to be loyal. And for businesses, it never hurts to be a little creative and willing to think outside of the box.

Kudos Mortons.

Book Review: Water for Elephants

( #WaterForElephants, #SaraGruen )

I finished reading “Water for Elephants” by Sara Gruen a few nights ago and decided to share my thoughts.

Who doesn’t love the circus? Animals, peanuts, drunk little people. Writer Sara Gruen picked this fertile backdrop to tell a love story and it was a good choice because I hate reading love stories. Getting right to the point, the most interesting aspect of this book is the actual circus history that Gruen cherry-picked for the story. The background characters, the economics of the circus, and the stories about the animals sell this book.

The dynamic of the “love triangle” and the main character’s circumstances are overly convenient and contrived. Within a few pages, the main character Jacob loses his family, his family’s business, drops out of school, and magically finds a circus to work at. I can forgive that because Gruen gets right to the meat. The “love triangle” setup was harder to swallow. Like any other book that has a likable lead that hooks up with a married woman, the husband has to be a complete sociopath. The husband beats the wife, the animals, and throws sick employees off the train. The hero Jacob sweeps in to save the beaten Marlena, ensure the crazy husband gets what he deserves, and of course saves the animals. All is wrapped up with a pretty little bow (forgetting the characters that paid the price for Jacob to have his affair).

Gripes aside (because honestly I would have issues with any romance novel), I liked the book because it was well researched and told interesting side stories. Now I am going to go rummage through my DVD collection and start watching Carnivale again.

Oh yeah they made a movie out of the book too (I have not seen it).

Rant: e-Stalking

( #rant, #socialmedia )

Social Media. Sign up and start sputtering your thoughts on a unsuspecting yet overly susceptible public. While the world is connecting and sharing, I am thinking of going the other way. Disconnect. It is not the technology; I am tired of the people that use it, how they use it, and the walls that I am forced to put up because of how people are “using” this information.

I don’t manage friendships via Facebook. I don’t think you should either. I will think poorly of you if you think a Facebook or twitter message is meaningful communication. I will probably stop talking to you. I have done this before and I will do it again, this I am sure. I feel a sense of freedom in my disconnections, virtual and real.

This is not a dysfunction or a problem for me. If you are offended by this, you have the issue.

Early on, when social media was a new concept, I will admit to being drawn in by the allure of talking to old childhood and former high school friends. But I quickly realized that I have nothing to say to them beyond my happiness that they are doing well. No need to feel sentimental; say goodbye with a smile and move on with your life.
Edit: There are a few high school buddies that I chat with, so I guess I am not completely cutting myself off from my past. But I think it is interesting that 2 out of 200+ connections realized the “potential” of social networking.

Keeping tabs on me via my activity and interactions with others, silently seething because I am not posting on your wall or commenting on your pictures is not a healthy situation for you. I am fine. If you feel the need to capture my attention, pick up the phone, swing by for a cup of tea or a beer. Let me level set, if all of these feelings are coming up because of lack of use, abuse, or my being obtuse on social media, I have no incentive or desire to resolve the “problem”. I don’t sit around wondering if somebody purposely did something to piss me off on Facebook and when I do, it is time to check myself into a mental institution.

If you have expectations between us… don’t. If I can’t meet your lofty ideals (that we have never discussed), you should stop talking to me. I would certainly do the same, and I probably will.

If getting together with you is a pain in the ass, I will stop trying. If I feel uncomfortable after I have spent time with you, I will stop doing it. If you expect me to act the same as I was in college, I have no time for you. If you think I am a terrible person because of my political or religious views, why are you trying to get together with me? I don’t want to have a philosophical debate with you; I am not going to change your mind and you certainly won’t change mine. Shake hands and walk away.

I am 32 years old, I am not interested in feeling unsteady and unsure of my connections to people. I stand on bedrock, you are welcome to stand with me. If you want to fuck around, go play in quicksand.

Book Review: Robopocalypse

( #Robopocalypse, @danielwilsonpdx)

I recently finished reading the book Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson and here are my thoughts about it.

If you can’t figure it out by the title, Robopocalypse is a fictional story about machines and robots gaining a collective sentience and turning against humans. Slightly less horrific than the opening scenes in the Terminator movies, Wilson still manages to paint a gruesome picture. Society becomes dependant on robot assistance and is woefully unprepared for the slaughter even with several warning signs.

Wilson borrows the format from another apocalyptic novel: World War Z by Max Brooks. If you are going to rip off a horror book, might as well rip off one of the best. Like WWZ, the narrative in Robopocalypse is relayed by a “main character” but told in sections through a series of other characters. The main character is a soldier rather than a writer that comes across a device that collected the stories/horrors from whatever camera/robot that happened to be within the area of said tale.

The book is really entertaining, but due to the strong similarity to World War Z, it is hard not to compare the two books. In comparison, Robopocalypse is not as well thought out. One of the more appealing aspects of WWZ was how humanity rebuilds as a result of the disaster. Wilson gives tiny hints of society post Robopocalypse but nothing satisfying. While the “villain” in the book is defeated, you don’t learn about how the main characters reconnect and move on with their lives, which is a let down. As an example, Wilson introduces humans modified by the robots that managed to get free. They are horribly maimed and implanted with electronics. I really wanted to know more about these character’s outcomes (and felt they should have been more prevalent during the final showdown). That being said, Wilson left enough meat on the table for a sequel, so all sins might/could/probably will be forgiven.

Complaints aside, Robopocalypse was a well written, fun summer read and I recommend it (if you are the type of person that reads my blog, you are going to enjoy this book). On a side note, I read that Dan Wilson is an actual robotics engineer, which gives all of the techno-speak a waft of authenticity.

A fan created a clever trailer for the book, check it out:

Next on my reading list is “Too Big to Fail” about the origin of the economic meltdown of the last few years.