Seasons Greetings (2013)

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write a year-end post. My hesitation was not out of any negativity, but more of a feeling like maybe the concept has run its course.

This picture of Earth popped up in my news feed today and I thought about perspective. It is good to change it sometimes and it is good to document where you are at now for a revisit later.

I am not going to give some big ra-ra speech about change or making the best of your situation. That was last year, I hope your situation is better this year, and I hope it is even better next year. But that is on you and lady luck.

I am pretty damn thankful for where I am at in life right now. I enjoy my family and the thought processes that go along with raising children. Wanting them to have all of the good things that make you who you are and none of the bad… and then cringing when you see those bad traits bubble out. Genetics, aren’t they grand?

Not to soap box, but I have said this in real life a few times and have been meaning to document it on a blog somewhere. Even though I am clearly enjoying being a parent, it is not for everyone. Your parents, your religion, your government want you to keep pumping out red blooded whatever-the-hell-you-are and if that is the key to your happiness – awesome, but it isn’t the only way to lead an interesting and fulfilling life.

You have options – explore all of them so you feel good about the decisions you do make.

And that is a hell of a segue to whatever scrap of a message I do have this year. Make informed decisions. At work, at home, and in the infinite daily interactions you have with the masses. Be informed. Stay informed. Educate those around you. Rinse and repeat.

You will make the world a better place, if not for everyone, at least it will be better for me.

I will end this year with this visual… just remember where we are all sitting in the grand scheme of everything:

I hope 2014 brings you whatever you are looking for. Happy New Year!

Seasons Greetings Joey Style (2011)

Happy New Year friends! 2011 is slipping through our fingers and I find myself trying to conjure words to summarize what that means to me. I am going to be honest with you, I am struggling with this year’s love note. Not due to any dark feelings, in fact, just the opposite. I have been feeling pretty calm this past week, which is good for the blood pressure, but bad for writing clever things.

[Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes]

Even though times are tough and there is a bit of uncertainty regarding the future, it seems like my friends and family made it out of 2011 in one piece. It is easy to turn sour watching your 401k shrink, the value of your house decline, and services you depend on disappear. But all things considered, the Philadelphia area is breeding grounds for plucky people that take all this shit in stride and figure out how to get through it.

It is hard to focus on the negatives when I look around and see all these kids that I mention every year growing up strong and smart. The world is hard, but I am glad to see my people have their priorities straight. As far as my priorities go, I will be in good company with a baby on the way. I am not going to turn this post into “my child is going to change my life…bla bla bla” because anybody with a kid knows that as fact (a fact I have been told a million times along with “get your sleep now.”).

Jangled nerves and worry have subsided and I am looking forward to becoming a parent. Fundamentally, I really hope I don’t suck as a dad (that is not me fishing for kind words btw, just consider that line a karmic message in a bottle). It is a funny thing writing about the baby because I haven’t done it much and thanks to the holidays I am burned out on active baby conversation. I do want to mention that I feel bad about the news getting out late to certain friends. I guess people really do use social media to keep in touch (oops)…

All that being said, the quiet has been a blessing. Babies tend to bring out lots of opinions, all those voices talking at the same time can be overpowering. That brings me into a nice transition…

[Thank You]

If you have been reading these little year ends, you know that I view this section as a loaded gun… time to point and shoot. Here is hoping I don’t get a bullet in the foot:

Thanks to my wife. Outside of making this whole baby thing happen, she gets me. My odd sense of humor, my “in your face” method of dealing with…everything, my musical taste (very important in this house). Compatibility makes life so much better.

Speaking of the babies, when we told our parents, we asked them to keep it quiet for a few weeks until we got solid news from the doctors. My father-in-law was so excited, he had to tell someone… so he told his barber. That little story sort of made it all real to me. Also thank you Mr. D for making me look like I know how to pick out a bottle of wine.

I really don’t know how else to say this… I want to thank my mom for not being up our asses. My mom is at the ready to help Allison and I at a moments notice. But she never second guesses our decisions about anything. She offers her personal perspective or experience and leaves it at that. There is grace in accepting (and enjoying) your children as adults. I can thank her for a million things that she does for us, but this is the thing I appreciate the most.

I need to thank Verizon. They have made it possible for my father and I to communicate at a frequency that I did not think possible two years ago. Here is the best part… I am the bastard. If I haven’t seen or talked to my dad during the week, I get the call. “Sonny Boy, where have you been!?!” For a man that is fairly indifferent to just about everything, it is good to know that he cares.

Thank you to Tony Bombardi, the master detective – I love you, your family and your mini adventures that often lead right back to the starting point. Whenever I do freak out about this kid, I think “what would Tony do” and then you usually end up calling me anyway.

So I just went back and carved out a huge section thanking friends. This is what I am going to say instead: to the people that I talk to regularly – the people who call me to talk about music, house stuff, gear, zombies – you know who you are. I love you guys (and gals). If it were not for you, I would probably lock myself in my house and take all the phones off the hook (fine – take the batteries out of my cell phone – damn you nerds!). There are dozens of people I should mention, but nobody wants to read two pages of thanks (and then probably, rightfully, wondering why you are not on the list).

[Looking Forward]

There are times in my life, and if you know me I am sure you have been caught in this, when I want to hold everyone I know close to me. Then once that exercise becomes (inevitably) futile, I will retreat, ignoring everyone, and rethink my position. I have been in retreat mode the last few months. I have been thinking about what is right for me and my growing family. And right now I think change is good.

Instead of some grand statement of how to make yourself better in 2012, or jumping on some soapbox about the state of the world, I hope you – my friends, family, and readers – find happiness or something that smells like it.

May 2012 become whatever you want it to be.

Seasons Greetings Joey Style (2010)

( #2011, #Resolutions )

Happy New Year my friends! This year feels like it went by quickly yet when I look back, 2010 has been a game changer in so many different way. So let’s all take a minute to stop and reflect what this year has brought us both good and bad.

[Changes in 2010]

When you wake up every morning, do your routine, go to work, come home, and then go to sleep – ddoes it feel like anything is ever different? Things change, but it is more of the same… isn’t it? Not so much. The status-quo that has been in place for the last few years got shattered by a few things (I am going to do this chronologically):

  • My nephew being born: I don’t see him nearly as much as I should and we can slot that into 2011 goals, but Luke being born changed the dynamic of my immediate family. My sister has come into her own and has matured in a very graceful way. Cobra Commander has been demonstrating admirable nurturing and protective personality traits . My mother is fully embracing her roll as “Nonna”, and even Mean Joe is starting to warm up to the idea of being Grandpa Meanness. The coming year is going to be a sweet spot for me when his mother asks me “where did he learn that word?”
  • Graduate School: It feels good to read some of last year’s goals and see that I am accomplishing them. I have my opinions about the education system, but finding WGU has been rewarding and immediately helpful in my career. I needed to do this to remain mentally fit.
  • Mean Joe’s Heart Procedure: For the outside reader – my father needed a triple by-pass this year. I was never worried that he would die, whether he had too much mean left in him or knowing that my cousin Dr. J was overseeing the whole thing – I knew he would be okay. Even though I was confident that he would survive to continue to terrorize 9th Street, his weeks in the hospital reinforced bonds with my parents and family.

There were tons of other milestones/issues this year: other family medical dramas, re-connecting with old friends (and learning to forgive and forget), more babies (Congrats to Mike, Laurie, Alex, Paul, and Aimee), becoming a semi-professional blogger… this could go on for a while….

I tend to get obsessive about how I spend my time (especially after 13 hour work days), who I haven’t seen or spoken to in a while, and worry about not doing things I feel like I should be doing, but in the end it all levels out. While there is always room for improvement, I felt like I did the best I could in most cases.

[Looking at 2011]

With school set at a decent pace and my semi-professional writing career making some progress, the thing I need to work on 2011 is my weight. If you have read this blog since the start or have known me for a while, you know I managed to knock out about 170lbs at the peak of my health kick and while I haven’t gained it all back, I have been slowly gaining weight the last 4 years regardless of my work out schedule and dietary efforts. Its time to get back on the wagon again…hardcore. Fingers crossed.

Babies for Joey and Allison in 2011? Probably, if not this year, early 2012. No point in being coy about this, I am not getting any younger and neither is my lovely wife. We have a plan in place (to everyone who says you can’t have a plan – be quiet, because you can) and now we just have to see how fate treats us.

My thoughts on everything else? If you haven’t been reading the blog weekly, you should because I cover it all there, but to summarize right now I would say focus on job creation. I had a conversation with a manager this year who said America is country of innovation and all the jobs should focus on that. While I agreed with the concept, I don’t think America is made up of 100% innovation labor force, hell I don’t think it is 20%. How do we employee the rest of the country long term? Personally, I think American companies should take advantage of the lower labor costs and refocus on domestic manufacturing while keeping the unions in check (sorry union supporters, they do kill companies over time).

For everything else – we should continue with green ideologies when they make sense, try to get away from our dependence on foreign oil, and focus on reducing national and personal debt. Politically – all of these jokers are the same; as long as we allow lobbyist groups to set direction for special interest organizations we will continue to be managed by an enormous corporation instead of a government. I will add – get involved if you don’t like what is happening to your country, town, city, village, school, sandwich shop…

[Closing Thoughts]

Once again, I respectfully request leeway from anyone that I missed in my year end thoughts and thanks. As always this is the trickiest part because people tend to get pissed when I leave them out. With that in mind – here we go…

If it hasn’t been made clear yet, I want to thank my parents, wife, and expanding family for being a centering force. Genetics is a hell of thing because as much as I cursed my parents in high school, I become more like them (or see wisdom in their “bad decisions”) as I get older.

I can’t do one of these without saying thanks to my cousin Tony because I talk to him every day and whenever I get freaked out about life (especially having kids), he puts me in the right frame of mind (unlike Slobbert).

For the friends in my life, I am thankful for you and for the experiences you collectively share. For the friends that have stepped back, I am thankful for that too because time is not infinite. Not to sound like a brown-noser, but I would like to thank my boss because even though work gets nutty – I feel like I can say what I need get the right advice, attention, and focus.

In conclusion, don’t bullshit yourself. Only you know what you are capable of doing, so if you are sitting around complaining that you need to get something done, or want to start something… Do it. If you can’t – get some help and get it done. I wish you get everything you wish for yourself this coming year.

Smell you later,
~ Joey

Previous Editions: 2009 Seasons Greetings