Tag: Seasons Greetings

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write a year-end post. My hesitation was not out of any negativity, but more of a feeling like maybe the concept has run its course.

This picture of Earth popped up in my news feed today and I thought about perspective. It is good to change it sometimes and it is good to document where you are at now for a revisit later.

I am not going to give some big ra-ra speech about change or making the best of your situation. That was last year, I hope your situation is better this year, and I hope it is even better next year. But that is on you and lady luck.

I am pretty damn thankful for where I am at in life right now. I enjoy my family and the thought processes that go along with raising children. Wanting them to have all of the good things that make you who you are and none of the bad… and then cringing when you see those bad traits bubble out. Genetics, aren’t they grand?

Not to soap box, but I have said this in real life a few times and have been meaning to document it on a blog somewhere. Even though I am clearly enjoying being a parent, it is not for everyone. Your parents, your religion, your government want you to keep pumping out red blooded whatever-the-hell-you-are and if that is the key to your happiness – awesome, but it isn’t the only way to lead an interesting and fulfilling life.

You have options – explore all of them so you feel good about the decisions you do make.

And that is a hell of a segue to whatever scrap of a message I do have this year. Make informed decisions. At work, at home, and in the infinite daily interactions you have with the masses. Be informed. Stay informed. Educate those around you. Rinse and repeat.

You will make the world a better place, if not for everyone, at least it will be better for me.

I will end this year with this visual… just remember where we are all sitting in the grand scheme of everything:

I hope 2014 brings you whatever you are looking for. Happy New Year!

Happy New Year friends! We are in the twilight of 2012, eagerly awaiting the dawn of 2013. This year has been great to me. My wife and I welcomed a son and he has been awesome. No, this blog won’t be all about the Benjamin(s), but his impact on my life will resonate throughout. I will warn you – this years post is less about reflection and more about looking forward, because the past is behind us and we have an obligation to make the right decisions for tomorrow.

I am going to omit the section of thanks all together this year. It is sort of self-indulgent and always seems to be taken the wrong way. To the friends and family I see, thank you for being a part of my life and I look forward to spending time with you in 2013.

So if I am not going to waste column space on thanks and inside jokes, what will I waste my space on? Life lessons of course!

[Do Something]

Seriously, get off of your ass and make something happen. Clean your shelves, vacuum the living room, finish that book, take that lesson, take your kid to the park. Do SOMETHING.

I have listened to too many complaints about “person x doesn’t do anything around the house” or “person y makes a mess and then never cleans up” or “I wish person z would spend more time with the kids”… so do it. No more excuses.

I work crazy amounts of hours at my job, but I am very involved with my son, I cook and clean like a champion, and I am involved in many outside activities and projects. I am not bragging because I don’t think this is unique or special. How do I do it? I determine what can and should be cut out and I make room for the stuff that is important and you are totally capable of doing the same. No more damn excuses…seriously. I am tired of hearing about it.

[Work on Yourself]

A few years ago I had an altercation with someone I knew and the situation quickly escalated out of control. I realized that I am perfectly okay telling people to f**k off and be done with them. In some circles this works but in others you just can’t do it. So I work at that aspect of my personality. Some days are hard and other days I find success. The point is – I have been successful and have been able to change my approach. A nice bonus is that the universe usually repays me for my temperance (not all the time).

If you know there is something you need to improve, identify it, and really think about how that flaw creeps into every aspect of your life, your relationships, your work, etc. Figure out small ways to change it until it becomes a different pattern for you. This is not easy, but I really think it is worth the effort.

[Take Ownership of your Future]

I work at tomorrow. I constantly look at where my family and I are headed and make course corrections. I always evaluate if the goal that was so important three years ago is still valid today.

Everything in your life requires maintenance: your home, your car, your body, your relationships with other people. It is easy to take those last one for granted. Tending to relationships is a tricky balance, you can’t expect too much from someone because the relationship will fail, but having no expectations will doom said relationship to casual acquaintance territory.

Also – burn facebook to the ground. If you are managing your relationships via Zuckerburg’s empire you fail. I am not saying you have to call, but write an email. Do better than a “like”. Also if you are getting mad because you are not satisfied with the level of interaction you are getting with your friends on social media, seek professional help.

[Conclusion]

Society is at an interesting paradox right now. The technology I am using right now to broadcast this message can be used to menace and terrify people to the point that they never want to turn on a computer again. Plug into any news source and it will probably be served with a health dose of fear: fiscal cliffs, the fall of the American empire, children being attacked at school, arming puppy dogs with machine guns…

The easy thing to do is to tune everything out.

But it doesn’t work, at least not for long. We are social creatures, and while the internet was not a part of our evolutionary design, it is now. Our society is changing how we behave, interact, and think. This is a technology that should unite, not divide. It should be used to streamline services, reduce costs (especially in education), and inform the masses (without spin). There are factions that want people to remain ignorant and fearful because we are easier to control and manipulate when we are stupid and scared.

Fight back. Get involved. Get informed. Participate in creating the future or get the hell out of the way. In 2013, overcome your fears and make your world better.

Happy New Year friends! 2011 is slipping through our fingers and I find myself trying to conjure words to summarize what that means to me. I am going to be honest with you, I am struggling with this year’s love note. Not due to any dark feelings, in fact, just the opposite. I have been feeling pretty calm this past week, which is good for the blood pressure, but bad for writing clever things.

[Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes]

Even though times are tough and there is a bit of uncertainty regarding the future, it seems like my friends and family made it out of 2011 in one piece. It is easy to turn sour watching your 401k shrink, the value of your house decline, and services you depend on disappear. But all things considered, the Philadelphia area is breeding grounds for plucky people that take all this shit in stride and figure out how to get through it.

It is hard to focus on the negatives when I look around and see all these kids that I mention every year growing up strong and smart. The world is hard, but I am glad to see my people have their priorities straight. As far as my priorities go, I will be in good company with a baby on the way. I am not going to turn this post into “my child is going to change my life…bla bla bla” because anybody with a kid knows that as fact (a fact I have been told a million times along with “get your sleep now.”).

Jangled nerves and worry have subsided and I am looking forward to becoming a parent. Fundamentally, I really hope I don’t suck as a dad (that is not me fishing for kind words btw, just consider that line a karmic message in a bottle). It is a funny thing writing about the baby because I haven’t done it much and thanks to the holidays I am burned out on active baby conversation. I do want to mention that I feel bad about the news getting out late to certain friends. I guess people really do use social media to keep in touch (oops)…

All that being said, the quiet has been a blessing. Babies tend to bring out lots of opinions, all those voices talking at the same time can be overpowering. That brings me into a nice transition…

[Thank You]

If you have been reading these little year ends, you know that I view this section as a loaded gun… time to point and shoot. Here is hoping I don’t get a bullet in the foot:

Thanks to my wife. Outside of making this whole baby thing happen, she gets me. My odd sense of humor, my “in your face” method of dealing with…everything, my musical taste (very important in this house). Compatibility makes life so much better.

Speaking of the babies, when we told our parents, we asked them to keep it quiet for a few weeks until we got solid news from the doctors. My father-in-law was so excited, he had to tell someone… so he told his barber. That little story sort of made it all real to me. Also thank you Mr. D for making me look like I know how to pick out a bottle of wine.

I really don’t know how else to say this… I want to thank my mom for not being up our asses. My mom is at the ready to help Allison and I at a moments notice. But she never second guesses our decisions about anything. She offers her personal perspective or experience and leaves it at that. There is grace in accepting (and enjoying) your children as adults. I can thank her for a million things that she does for us, but this is the thing I appreciate the most.

I need to thank Verizon. They have made it possible for my father and I to communicate at a frequency that I did not think possible two years ago. Here is the best part… I am the bastard. If I haven’t seen or talked to my dad during the week, I get the call. “Sonny Boy, where have you been!?!” For a man that is fairly indifferent to just about everything, it is good to know that he cares.

Thank you to Tony Bombardi, the master detective – I love you, your family and your mini adventures that often lead right back to the starting point. Whenever I do freak out about this kid, I think “what would Tony do” and then you usually end up calling me anyway.

So I just went back and carved out a huge section thanking friends. This is what I am going to say instead: to the people that I talk to regularly – the people who call me to talk about music, house stuff, gear, zombies – you know who you are. I love you guys (and gals). If it were not for you, I would probably lock myself in my house and take all the phones off the hook (fine – take the batteries out of my cell phone – damn you nerds!). There are dozens of people I should mention, but nobody wants to read two pages of thanks (and then probably, rightfully, wondering why you are not on the list).

[Looking Forward]

There are times in my life, and if you know me I am sure you have been caught in this, when I want to hold everyone I know close to me. Then once that exercise becomes (inevitably) futile, I will retreat, ignoring everyone, and rethink my position. I have been in retreat mode the last few months. I have been thinking about what is right for me and my growing family. And right now I think change is good.

Instead of some grand statement of how to make yourself better in 2012, or jumping on some soapbox about the state of the world, I hope you – my friends, family, and readers – find happiness or something that smells like it.

May 2012 become whatever you want it to be.

Happy New Year (and new decade) friends! Can you believe a whole year has past since the last time I filled your in-boxes with nonsense? I am glad we are all here again this year, and I hope you are reading this in comfort and with a few moments of peace – because we are all certainly entitled to that. I struggled getting this little love note going this year – struggled not to repeat myself, but repetition helps us remember the important things. With that in mind, sit back, relax and let me kick it for you Soap-Box style….

[MOTIVATIONS]

I went back and read all of the Season’s Greetings I could find (5 years worth) and my common theme seems to be motivation. Every year I try to motivate myself and my readers into some form of self improvement. This year I have been thinking about motivations, why do we “do what we do” instead of what we “want to do”?

What makes us get out of bed in the morning?
Why do we stress over those reports that the boss wants done ASAP?
Why don’t we go all “Tiger Woods” and find ourselves a few billion extra-marital lovers?
What stops us from going on a shooting spree?

Fear. Fear is an enormous motivator for me. I am afraid that if I don’t do well at work I will lose my job, if I am not a good person I will lose my wife or friends. I marvel at how the faint smokey taste of fear flavors my decisions. How much of your routine is planned with avoiding the consequences of bad decisions – the fear of “what if”? I don’t think I am alone in the fear, but has society always been this afraid or is the abundance of information making it worse?

During Xmas festivities with my wife’s relatives, I was talking with her aunt about an article I read about the lack of freedom children have in modern times. We don’t allow children to ride bikes alone or go to the corner store (if they even exist) because we are afraid that someone would take them. But child abductions have remained constant at around 110-115 since the 1950’s. Why are we suddenly so afraid to let children have unstructured freedom? My guess would be scary media reports, internet, reports from “experts”.

Are we raising a new generation to be afraid of everything? Is that a good thing or debilitating? As technology improves, we aren’t too far from never having to leave the house. It would be like that Surrogates movie except there won’t be robots, we will just have empty streets. When I think about my own life, the best moments happened when I control my fears… fear of rejection, fear of what people think, fear of losing – sometimes what I feared actually happened, but it wasn’t too bad and I am still here, better for having gone through it.

Now I am thinking of an “olde time” commercial… “Now you too can be large and in charge* with FEAR AWAY! Just take two shots of this brown liquid that smells exactly like whiskey and watch your fear vanish! You get the complete kit for a low $99.99! (* model prostitutes not included)”

[RESOURCES]

In last year’s address I mentioned the global dependence on oil. I have expanded my thoughts to resources in general. America is a consumer and service based economy and the world is following our example. I see a short rope wrapped around our collective necks and we are getting ever so close to hanging ourselves. Let me see if I can break down my thoughts:

• America is out of the business of production – we don’t make shit anymore – we just buy it
• Those production jobs left this country and are helping to develop a middle class in other nations
• As we are seeing with India, once a middle class is established, those people no longer want to make shit either – they want to sit in air conditioned offices and do non-productive corporate work like their American counterparts
• Now there are a lot more people who want to buy useless shit, so another country – like China – is making useless shit cheaply and dangerously to meet the demand
• As China becomes more industrialized their demand for oil and coal rises, America and other develop nations need for oil does not decline – so there are more nations in demand for a dwindling resource – this will end well I am sure
• All of this cheap, hazardous stuff that nobody really needs eventually ends up in the Ocean, the Ocean becomes plastic
• As the Ocean becomes a toxic cesspool with broken toys and old Clorox bottles floating in the patina, the food chain becomes irrevocably broken
• As this is happened the world collectively realizes that clean fresh water supplies are dangerously in short supply (don’t worry America – we actually have a decent supply, you will just be paying major $$$ for bottled water)
• Now we will need plastic bottles to ship the water – you need oil to make plastic – and someone to make the plastic cheaply – and somewhere to put the used bottles – and we are back to the beginning

America and the world collectively needs to get their shit together when it comes to renewable resources, waste management, CO2 in the atmosphere, and the careers that are considered valuable. The governments are not going to anything until we have reached the point of no return, so it’s up to us. Vote with these topics in mind and don’t get side-tracked by the bullshit issues. Encourage renewable resources in your town and don’t be one of those “not in my back yard” assholes. Make sure the stuff you use doesn’t go to waste (As I type that, I have 4 full trash bags of food I tossed from Christmas Eve festivities – so who needs to get off of their high horse?).

[2010]

I am going to repeat what I have said every year since I started doing these messages: Make next year better for yourself any way you can. Make yourself better any way you can. Last year I said I wanted to focus on guitar lessons – and I did. I got a little bit better and learned to play one of my favorite songs of all time. As an added bonus, I made a new friend and neighbor (HiGTT!). Good things happen when you try to improve yourself and get out of your little box.

This year my plan is to take the GMATs and buckle down on a master’s degree. I don’t have the highest opinion of the educational system at the moment (hmmm…. got a good rant on that coming up), but I want to give it the chance to redeem itself. Perhaps redemption should be a theme in 2010 as well. New decade, bury old grudges and useless thoughts. Can you think of something or someone you have totally washed your hands of – is there a second chance in its/their future? Should there be?

2010 could potentially be the start of my immediate family’s baby boom as my sister will have her first child. Seeing the restraint she has been practicing the last 5 months, ensuring every advantage she can for her child has been inspiring. I am excited and proud of big my sister and brother-in-law, and look forward to the changes their baby brings to their life and my own.

We have a new decade to define ladies and gentlemen. Let’s try to do better than the last ten years of vapid reality-tv celebrities, economic meltdowns, upskirt shots, war, useless people cheating on their wives, lying media, and the biggest moron ever elected to office.

The bar is pretty low to make an improvement people – but we still have to give an honest effort.

[THANKS]

The thank you section of this address has as become a logistical nightmare. Simply put: Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I usually start this off by thanking my parents, and for an outsider reading this – it is simple and perfectly disconnected. I thought I would try something different this year: My father learned to use his cell phone this year. That might not be a big deal to normal people, but for a man that doesn’t speak, this is a fascinating paradox. The first time he called me, I was in the middle of a tele-conference and actually dropped off because I thought something is wrong. He just wanted to know if I wanted any meat from the butcher shop. The man called me to see if I wanted something – old school doesn’t do it justice. My mother is no slouch by any means – she calls me every day to see if I need or want something. It is mind-boggling to me to see how supportive my parents are in their own stoic and silent way: nothing flashy, just always there in the background. So in all seriousness – Thank You Mom and Dad.

Not trying to ignore my wife by putting her in second (the story about my dad was just a better transitional sentence). Allison is the person who is saddled with anal retentive insanity 24/7. She not only handles it with grace (most of the time) but she gets me out of crazy place. She is an endless source of entertainment and laughs and I am very glad she is my wife and for the life we are building together. YAM!

I struggled with doing mass thank yous because I don’t want to take it away from people who deserve thanks. But I really don’t want to turn this into the “10 minute thank you speech at the Oscars”. Hopefully, I said thank you in person, and if I didn’t, you have my full permission to call me a ungrateful asshole the next time we talk. With that out of the way, I genuinely want to thank the people in my life for being there:

Thank you for answering my phone calls and listening to my insanity for a few minutes
Thank you keeping me company on long drives and dealing with crappy blue tooth speakers
Thank you for giving me advice that I over-analyze to the point of nausea
Thank you for our daily IM conversations that make the work day much better
Thank you for coming over and helping me move stuff around my house and off the deck
Thank you for suggesting new books, movies, and music
Thank you India (Just making sure you are paying attention)
Thank you for the recipes, the cooking gear, and finding new ways for me to destroy my kitchen
Thank you for helping to find back-splash tile (and eventually doing the tile work) – Hi “Woody!” 😉
Thank you for reading my blog because it really makes me happy that people do
Thank you all for allowing me to live a satisfying and meaningful life – because without you, it wouldn’t be.

In 2010, be the master of your own destiny.

Love,
Joey

Previous Holiday Greetings:
2008 – Click Here
2007 – Click Here
2006 – Click Here
2005 – Click Here
2004 – Click Here
(Sorry before 2004, the Greetings were email based and I lost them all – so if you have them… send ’em my way and I will republish)