Tag: Rant

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Rant: Drinking with Co-workers

( #co-workers, #drinking )

The Most Interesting Man In The World Says: “I don’t always drink with co-workers, but when I do, I wish I didn’t.”


I learned several lessons as a young adult about socializing with co-workers. Recent experiences while drinking with professionals (no just co-workers) have led me to create this rules of engagement document:

1. Unless expressly stated by both parties, a co-worker is not a friend. Do not treat them like one while socializing after hours. A co-worker can become a friend, but I suspect those chances are diminished greatly if people are losing control after a few drinks.

2. Don’t talk about work. You probably just left the office and that project is falling behind, but use the time together to get to know someone as a human being, not complain—we all have problems.

3. Don’t talk about work. Seriously, I know it is weird to try to start a conversation about something other than work stuff, but try, it pays off.

4. Be aware of other people around you: See how I said not to talk about work? I was in a bar a while back and people were complaining about work…LOUDLY. There was a girl who was obviously put off by the conversation and she had her head buried in her phone. I really thought she was tweeting the conversation. I checked when I got home but didn’t find anything—that could have been a horrible situation.

5. Try to keep some of your more personal beliefs to yourself for a while: Topics regarding religion and politics should be avoided. I know this is funny coming from someone who has a blog that talks about this stuff, but the point is, I don’t rub it in people’s faces. After a few social events, if you feel like you know the person well enough to test the waters, go for it, but be prepared to back off if you have different views because you have to work with this person.

6. Having marital problems? I don’t care. Open marriage? I don’t want to know. Please don’t ask the bartender for their number when I am in your company—that actually goes for any social situation and the rule applies to the wait staff as well.
Additional Advice: If you have a bar you really like or are a regular at, don’t bring co-workers there until you know they are okay. If things get weird you might get banned from your favorite watering hole.

7. If you happen to be invited to someone’s home, don’t go through their house (this happened to a co-worker several years ago). If you see a guitar or other musical instrument, don’t pick it up and start playing unless you are asked. You will look like a douchebag (well honestly, if you are rummaging around in somebody’s house, you probably are a douchebag).

8. Don’t start a fight at a bar when you are with co-workers. Sounds like common sense right? This includes saying anything that warrants you being punched in the face. Personally, I will not help you and will be hoping you lose a tooth.

9. Assuming we are working under the conditions I have outlined above—no shots.

Thanks for reading. It is my intent to help the workers of the world avoid making complete fools out of themselves and to (selfishly) avoid having to be in your company if you act like this. If you work with me, these are my ground rules for socializing. This article is a work in progress and will probably be updated several times.

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Rant: Joey vs. Perfume

This is going to be short and simple readers, because there is not much to say…I hate perfume.

Hate it.

It is horrible going into the office and being trapped in an elevator with some man or woman doused in sweet, flowery, headache-inducing evil. I would rather someone rip a raunchy garbage-in-hot-weather fart and be stuck smelling it for 10 floors than even catch a whiff of perfume. I don’t understand why more people don’t talk about this problem. Getting crop-dusted by an over-quaffed perfumed dandy can ruin my day or at least a few hours of it.

Don’t people realize that these scents can adversely impact their co-workers? Let’s brainstorm readers: what can we do to protect our noses from these daily chemical attacks? Share your ideas on the feedback form, and I will update this article.

For the perfumers out there, next time you go out and buy some starlet’s fragrance, remember that other people have to smell that stuff and it will probably make them want to vomit.

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Rant: e-Stalking

( #rant, #socialmedia )

Social Media. Sign up and start sputtering your thoughts on a unsuspecting yet overly susceptible public. While the world is connecting and sharing, I am thinking of going the other way. Disconnect. It is not the technology; I am tired of the people that use it, how they use it, and the walls that I am forced to put up because of how people are “using” this information.

I don’t manage friendships via Facebook. I don’t think you should either. I will think poorly of you if you think a Facebook or twitter message is meaningful communication. I will probably stop talking to you. I have done this before and I will do it again, this I am sure. I feel a sense of freedom in my disconnections, virtual and real.

This is not a dysfunction or a problem for me. If you are offended by this, you have the issue.

Early on, when social media was a new concept, I will admit to being drawn in by the allure of talking to old childhood and former high school friends. But I quickly realized that I have nothing to say to them beyond my happiness that they are doing well. No need to feel sentimental; say goodbye with a smile and move on with your life.
Edit: There are a few high school buddies that I chat with, so I guess I am not completely cutting myself off from my past. But I think it is interesting that 2 out of 200+ connections realized the “potential” of social networking.

Keeping tabs on me via my activity and interactions with others, silently seething because I am not posting on your wall or commenting on your pictures is not a healthy situation for you. I am fine. If you feel the need to capture my attention, pick up the phone, swing by for a cup of tea or a beer. Let me level set, if all of these feelings are coming up because of lack of use, abuse, or my being obtuse on social media, I have no incentive or desire to resolve the “problem”. I don’t sit around wondering if somebody purposely did something to piss me off on Facebook and when I do, it is time to check myself into a mental institution.

If you have expectations between us… don’t. If I can’t meet your lofty ideals (that we have never discussed), you should stop talking to me. I would certainly do the same, and I probably will.

If getting together with you is a pain in the ass, I will stop trying. If I feel uncomfortable after I have spent time with you, I will stop doing it. If you expect me to act the same as I was in college, I have no time for you. If you think I am a terrible person because of my political or religious views, why are you trying to get together with me? I don’t want to have a philosophical debate with you; I am not going to change your mind and you certainly won’t change mine. Shake hands and walk away.

I am 32 years old, I am not interested in feeling unsteady and unsure of my connections to people. I stand on bedrock, you are welcome to stand with me. If you want to fuck around, go play in quicksand.

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Rant: Gamestopping

( #Gamestop, #Culture )


Image Credit: HoneyBunny

I am not much of a gamer. I own all of the major consoles, but I use them for their media extender capabilities…and I bought a Wii because my wife wanted it for parties. I don’t buy games often because I just don’t have time to play them and I feel really guilty when I blow a few hours on the couch, so I tend to avoid them. I have also trained myself not to buy new games because they always drop in price a few months later (new or used) but by then I completely forget about them.

I decided to get a game on Sunday because I finished up most of my school work and I wanted to reward myself. I got it in my head to run over to a Gamestop, but then I hesitated because I don’t usually like the guys who work in there (30-something man-boys that make me feel like an asshole for not caring/knowing about video games). Allow me to expand and get very locally focused. The closest Gamestop to me is in Glassboro, NJ. Every time I go in there it is dirty, everything has been picked over and the staff is rude. An additional point about the staff: there is a guy who works in there that is/was a friend of a former friend. He looks like a ghost. Casper seems to have had a hard life and he does recognize me when I walk in (which is good). But the whole experience puts me in a dark place.

So this Sunday I decided to go to a different Gamestop. I have tried the ones in Magnolia and Voorhees and had similar (bad) experiences, but I never noticed the one on Egg Harbor Road (Washington Township) before. When I walked in, the place was clean and the kid behind the counter was actually answering a child’s question. As soon as they were done, he asked me if I needed assistance. I told them I was looking around for something fun and not time consuming. Another kid in the back started asking some questions and handed me a used version of Portal 2 which just came out and it was like 40% cheaper than new. I bought it and went on my way.

Why am I sharing this experience? Normally I bitch on this blog about bad experiences. I wanted to highlight a good one, getting away from generalized statements (shout out to Pat B!). What is the difference between the Gamestop in Glassboro and the one on Egg Harbor Road? Culture. Whoever manages the Glassboro store does not care and it shows in the physical apeparance and in their interactions with the customers. The person running the Egg Harbor Road location hired friendly people and takes the care to make the store presentable, so when the average customer walks in they don’t feel the need to put on a full body condom.

Local readers, do you have similar stories? Are there stores that are geographically close, but have totally different shopping experiences? If so, share them. Lets celebrate the good ones!

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Rant: Fantasy vs. Real Life

( #FunnyPeople, #GrowingUp )

Last Wednesday I caught Funny People on HBO. I have seen the movie a few times, but I happened to tune in during the scene where Adam Sandler is giving a Thanksgiving toast (can’t find a clip). The point of the scene was that all of these friends who were fighting are reminded that this is their best time—so they should enjoy it.

This scene rattled in my head for a few days and merged with a year-long meandering thought about my own social circle. I don’t know if I am scratching this itch the right way, but I need to get it out of my head. I always expected my social circle to hit that sweet spot of enough career to have some savings, but not completely overwhelmed with jobs and children to be able to go on a few life changing vacations/experiences. It never really happened. We went on some trips, but never an ADVENTURE.

By the time the weekend rolled around and we had dinner with a few friends, I decided to let my group adventure fantasy go. Too much wine on the deck beats 13 hours in a car to Panama City. I think it is better to enjoy and savor the things our lives afford us, rather than wishing for the things that were never going to materialize. The ADVENTURE is a fantasy; it doesn’t matter what I do or where I go, it doesn’t ever satisfy the intangible expectations I put on it.

Instead of being unsatisfied, I’d rather re-think what true satisfaction is. Here is my advice to my peers: If you are sitting around thinking of what you want to be when you grow up or fantasize about quitting your job and opening a bed and breakfast. Grow the fuck up.

DID I JUST PISS ON YOUR DREAMS?

Good.

While I am sure you can reference some long shot example to prove me wrong, the statistics are in my favor that you are not going to be a professional athlete (even golfer), a rock star, a cowboy (do you even know what a cowboy does?). Do you have a business plan for that bed and breakfast (and do you like working 24 hours a day)? When I was 4 I used to tell my mother I was going to own a hamburger stand in space (this predates the Spaceballs diner scene). I am pretty damn glad I did not pursue my astro-culinary dreams because space is full of radiation and zero gravity doesn’t do much for your health either (35% bone and muscle mass loss after 6 months).

What is so bad with an average life? This is assuming no abusive domestic situation, not in jail, or had some other horrible thing happen. Maybe there are a few simple steps that can turn a shitty life into a perfectly average one? I guess what I am saying is just because you have a dream, it doesn’t mean it is a very good one. Find pleasure when and where you can, and be glad you don’t have a cell-mate named Bubba that offers to toss your salad.

Sweet Dreams.

PS: One more bit of advice – don’t wait around for other people to do what you want to do. There are so many places that I want visit that my friends have no interest in, but luckily my wife does. Its good to have a partner, but I would go myself if I had to and I suggest you do the same. Be strong!